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Satire

Editor - Ruairidh Macdonald

All opinions expressed in the Satire section are written primarily for the sake of comic value and therefore do not necessarily represent the honest views held by the author, The Gaudie, AUSA or any company which advertises with the Gaudie.

Apr 1
2 min

EXCLUSIVE: Gaudie News Editor sensationally quits after argument with colleague

Oldest student newspaper in Scotland (according to the Guardian) rocked by explosive argument

Feb 5
2 min

"Everything fine" Declares University Senate

Students reassured and return to role as fee paying drones. image source: 30 seconds in Photoshop article by E. Norma Scock The...

Feb 2
1 min

Defund Everything. New Campaign Emerges on Campus

Image source: idc Article by Autusi Parry | 02/02/2021 Give us our meals deals back. A new pressure group has emerged on campus with the...

Dec 5, 2020
3 min

Geezer feathers nest with Uni’s £119,000

Seagull Principal’s principles questioned by Wagril Slane Illustration by Jake Roslin Seagull Principal’s principles questioned Students...

Nov 25, 2020
2 min

Aberdeen City Council leaders win Nobel Peace Prize

In a highly anticipated move, Aberdeen City Council leaders win Peace Prize for ‘ending factionalism worldwide’

Oct 19, 2020
4 min

Vegan proteins to impress your lesbian now-ex with

I'm so sorry Martha I promise I can change

Oct 10, 2020
3 min

Gordon Battle censured for trip to Welsh chip shop

A senior campus figure challenged regional Covid-19 travel and household mixing rules by making a flying visit to Wales.

Sep 30, 2020
2 min

Virtual Fresher’s Week "up to our usual standards" - AUSA

AUSA is congratulating itself on its pandemic-prompted 100% online Fresher’s Week which “saved [them] a bloody fortune"

Sep 25, 2020
1 min

UoA Alice and Minerva Appreciation Society reaches 2 million members

This is the first year the society is running.

Sep 17, 2020
1 min

“If I cut the caffeine, then I’ll be fine,” says Woman During Plague-Recession-Climate-Catastrophe

“If I just cut the caffeine from my diet, then I can get my life together,” said Lynsay Brown, on break from her zero-hours retail contract.