Aberdeen, an antidepressant’s worst nightmare.
By Craig Ross and Hannah Powrie
Photo courtesy of Harry Grout via Unsplash.
Today, the Gaudie brings you a politics and anthropology student very much at the peak of their powers. Those powers being drinking, financial mismanagement and a general disregard for our academic endeavours. Our state school education and lack of foresight when choosing our degree programs has already condemned us to a life in which climate change will likely offer a preferable ending to whatever mundane reality we end up creating for ourselves. In light of this we have turned to the Gaudie in hope of bolstering our CV and more importantly, our egos. It was the wonders of Aberdeen that brought your two authors together, specifically Aberdeen University. For some student’s (those from provincial Scottish towns) Aberdeen is a big city. They might come here believing that the streets are paved with gold, in reality they are caked in dog dirt.
We are sure that this column will be a welcome addition to your weekly news diet - quality journalism for a quality audience. As is already evident we may miss the mark some weeks, for example everything you have read so far was found scrawled on the bathroom stall in the Bobbin, but we hope to bring you all the info you need to know about Aberdeen. You may at this point be asking yourself how such competent writing has made its way into the Gaudie - well, let us tell you. After the big boss at the Gaudie first approached us about writing this column, it’s fair to say we were sceptical. After months of negotiation and a hint of coercion, we agreed to take on our very own weekly column.
Despite the looming post-graduate depression, we decided to make the most of our last few months here. By passing on our abundant Aberdonian wisdom by taking centre stage in the Gaudie newspaper. After all it is hot real estate – or at least that’s what we thought.
As 2023 brings us our final semester in Aberdeen, we have been feeling surprisingly nostalgic and even a little sad at the prospect of leaving. Despite the looming post-graduate depression, we decided to make the most of our last few months here. By passing on our abundant Aberdonian wisdom by taking centre stage in the Gaudie newspaper. After all it is hot real estate – or at least that’s what we thought. We believed it would be a source from which we could improve our social standing. An interview with Peter Crouch springs to mind. He was famously asked what he would be if he wasn’t a footballer, replying that he’d still be a virgin. Who knew Crouchy worked for the Gaudie before going into football? In a way of introducing ourselves or perhaps separating us from the rest of the Gaudie staff let us tell you about our plans for this column.
Our time, money and dignity, all of which are long gone, have serviced us and the Aberdonian economy well. Therefore, we will be shining the spotlight on some institutions of Aberdeen through the medium of reviews, old stories, even older stories and made-up stories. Think of this as some foreplay. If we’ve learnt one thing from our years on campus, it’s that Gaudie readers are thrill seekers. In an attempt to enthral, we’ll be taking the Gaudie on the road, immersing ourselves in the local culture whilst we write our columns. Yes, that’s right, our columns will be reporting live from all of our favourite spots around the city. Whether it’s Chippy King, Mounthooly roundabout, or the Skite dance floor, us and our laptops will have you covered.
We hope this introductory article has tickled your fancy. Keep a lookout for our first contribution to the Gaudie, let’s call this a trial. Go hard or go home is our approach here, although if you’re in Aberdeen the latter may be better advice. Keep your eyes peeled and your wits aboot ya, be lucky out there folks. Look after each other.
Disclaimer: after receiving a dressing down from the big wigs at the Gaudie, we would like to make clear that the jokes about the Gaudie and the team is just that, a joke. In the tense meeting we were repeatedly told about their “wild” staff nights out. We really have landed on our feet. After being introduced to the big wigs we can’t wait to be part of this close team who always offer a helping hand to each other. It really is love at first read in the Gaudie.
