Down this rabbit hole we go!
By Khreshnee Thayabaran
Image Credit: Stocksnap via Pixabay
University has started up again. A way of escape for many, I’m sure, but for those who don’t do well with day-to-day social interactions it is an absolute nightmare. Going out, particularly for those deemed as introverts, is a reason for panic and even more so for those others called ‘ambiverts’. This is where I come into the story, (hello), because I am an ambivert (*cue fanfare music*). A peculiar label I find, neither introvert nor extrovert but somewhere in the vague middle- you can’t even begin to categorise me. It’s a double life I lead, but not in the cool spiderman type of way sadly- more so in the tortured, angst way.
Let me give you a brief insight into my brain on a normal weekday- do I go to this social? But I could stay in and watch some Pride and Prejudice (Darcy’s hand flex anyone?), or maybe dig into some fancy Haagen Daaz that I, very emotionally, decided to splurge out on. Oh, but what about the sweet, sweet call of alcohol? (or bitter depending on your preferences- repping all you beer lovers). And dancing!! Of course, I just end up on the edge of my sofa, head in hands rocking back and forth shouting “the voices!” But that’s another story, something preferably my psychologist should know about.
Notice how I haven’t mentioned the weekend yet- that is reserved for studying and being astoundingly productive of course, totally not being holed up in my room rewatching The Hobbit for the thousandth time. My routine is getting up at the crack of dawn, maybe 7am if I’m feeling particularly crazy, and going out for a quick run, cleaning my entire room, and cooking meals for the entire week. That or rolling out of bed at noon but pft who does that! Not me. Another thing I want to mention is the absolute moral quandary an ambivert feels when friends ask you out. Yes, I would love to go outside and surround myself with people, but I would also just want to stay in with my books and pasta- this is followed with the self-reprimand of- this is not how you spend a Saturday night, do better! I do better and push my pasta reading to a Sunday night, a highly appropriate day for that I feel.
Talking about the love/hate relationship with socialising, I want to now move on to fresher’s week, more specifically for the fayre. It is not only a breeding ground for socialising, but freebies! The freebies are the best bit- pizza, hats, tote bags, bottle openers (alcoholism!) and this is the exact reason why I voluntarily decide to venture out into the wild. Sure, when I see people I know, I sometimes avert eye contact, maybe rummage in my bag looking for something I know is not there- but this socially averting process is so worth it- I am a sucker for anything that doesn’t reduce my bank account balance.
So, my advice to all you ambiverts out there, seeking out a quiet place from socialising is something I understand all too well. It’s okay to have time for yourself, and I promise, you aren’t missing out on anything if you decide to stay home that one time (if anything I implore you all to- ice cream and bad movies all the way!!).
