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  • Writer's pictureSatire

There’s No Monsters Under The Bed, Mummy Is Just Holding This Bat For Fun

Updated: Oct 24, 2023

Nothing to worry about

By Maggie Johnson

Photo credit: Pixabay

Oh, hi honey, I thought you’d gone to sleep already! Didn’t we already tuck you in? You’re worried about monsters under the bed? Oh, don’t be silly, monsters aren’t real!

What’s that? Why am I holding this bat? Oh, um… Mummy and Daddy were just gonna play some baseball later and I’m practising my stance.

No, no of course I’ll come tuck you in again. Am I gonna leave the bat? No, no, I think I’ll just carry it with me. No, no reason at all.

Oh honey, don’t you wanna turn on the light while you get back in bed? I’ve heard monsters don’t like when your light is on. You thought I said monsters weren’t real? That’s right, I did say that, didn't I. But you might as well just turn it on since the switch is right here.

Alright, I’ll tuck you in nice and tight. Was I ever afraid of monsters? Well, maybe when I was very small, smaller than you even. But certainly not now. Because I am prepared with this ba– I mean because monsters aren’t real!

Would it make you feel better about the monsters if you had your own bat to play nighttime baseball with? I’ve been thinking recently you might be needing one, but I didn’t want to scare you, and – WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?? A MONSTER??

…oh. Phew. It was just Daddy brushing his teeth in the next room.

So…is that a yes to the bat? Because monsters aren’t real, but Mummy thinks you can never be too safe.


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