• The Gaudie

Professor Announces Tenure With Thinly-Veiled Rant

"A statement made to the Gaudie indicated that his office now contains only an armchair, a set of spirit optics, and a series of erotic kimonos."


by A Concerned Student


A local lecturer in Neo-Duchampian poetry tonight announced the beginning of his tenured position by opening his third year lecture with a series casually racist remarks on the demographic make-up of his lectures, while he highlighted the intelligence and ‘cultural development’ required to understand the subject matter discussed.


While he skilfully navigated saying anything that might cause direct problems with the university administration he did devote a good portion of the lecture to the restrictions he felt have been placed on this use of language, such as being forced to refer to his female colleagues by their actual names and allowing short-skirted students to sit where they please.


A statement made to the Gaudie indicated that his office now contains only an armchair, a set of spirit optics, and a series of erotic kimonos. 

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