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  • Writer's pictureSatire

Festive (Non) Date Ideas for You and Your Situationship

Updated: Oct 24, 2023

You don’t need to be in a “relationship” to enjoy romantic holiday activities!

By Maggie Johnson

Photo credit: Pixabay

Here is some inspiration for you and your situationship to enjoy this festive season:

Avoid defining your relationship over Christmas cocktails

Expertly gloss over any conversation about what you want out of the relationship, instead focusing on how it’s possible to make pine needles safe to consume in a drink

Take a decidedly non-romantic walk through the Christmas markets

Make sure to invite a friend to both third wheel and carry the conversation

Decorate cookies while waiting for them to text you back

Allow 24-48 hours for this activity before you double-text

Exchange vaguely flirty looks while watching a Christmas film

“Elf” is an excellent option, because Buddy and Jovie’s lack of straightforward communication about their feelings will feel familiar

Spend hours agonising about whether or not you should get them a present

You shouldn't. But maybe they’re getting you a present. So you should. But not until they commit to you. So you shouldn’t. But they might commit to you if you get them a present. So you should.

Go ice-skating and hold hands to avoid falling down

This is just a real date that someone in a relationship might do. So this might mean that you’re dating. But wait! They said they wanted something casual, so nevermind.

Take pictures in Santa hats for your Tinder profiles

Because you’re not exclusive. And it’s totally chill for them to be on Tinder right in front of you, right? Right?

Make a shared playlist of holiday music while ignoring mixed signals

If you find the perfect mix of classic and contemporary music, neither of you will even notice the glaringly obvious sexual tension in the room

This season is a time for gratitude, caring, and anxiety about the state of your love life. Hope this list helps! Happy holidays!


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