{"id":5539,"date":"2024-02-21T11:05:09","date_gmt":"2024-02-21T11:05:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/?p=5539"},"modified":"2025-05-23T11:06:38","modified_gmt":"2025-05-23T10:06:38","slug":"what-women-want-to-hear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/index.php\/satire\/2024\/02\/21\/what-women-want-to-hear\/","title":{"rendered":"What women want to hear"},"content":{"rendered":"

Women are simple creatures, and if you follow these tips, I guarantee the woman of your dreams will be yours.<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. If you meet a woman in a club, make sure to say something to her to let her know you are a feminist and she is safe with you. Telling her something like <\/span>\u201c<\/b>I listen to All Too Well (10 Minute Version)<\/b>\u201d <\/b>is sure to do this. It isn\u2019t out of place and will feel authentic in the setting. All women like Taylor Swift so this will always be successful.<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Make her feel wanted early in the relationship. Any guy could come up to her and tell her they love her. Be different. Say it in another language, specifically one you don\u2019t speak. Say <\/span>\u201cte amo\u201d <\/b>three weeks into the relationship. The woman will be enamoured with your knowledge of language and will definitely say it back. Do not wait! Say it as early in the relationship as possible.<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. Along with this, tell her you told your mom about her. This should be done so early in the relationship that you have not defined what you are to each other. Once again, the woman will be impressed that you care and are ready to take that step. Never worry about coming on too strong, that\u2019s impossible.<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. When you get further with this woman, which you will because of this advice, you may find yourself in bed with her. When this happens, make sure you are honest and open with her. If condoms are uncomfortable for you,<\/span> tell her <\/span>\u201cI hate condoms.\u201d <\/b>She will see your honesty and thank you for being courageous.<\/span> Let her know you are doing her a favour by wearing one and she should be grateful. This won\u2019t ruin the moment, it will bring you closer together.<\/span><\/li>\n
  5. This next tip is about what you don\u2019t say rather than what you do. When you are with your friends and see the woman, ignore her. Act like she doesn\u2019t exist and means nothing to you, but only when in public. You have friends that are important to you, so show off how popular you are! The woman will be left wanting more.<\/span><\/li>\n
  6. Never hold back. Tell her everything. Women like to learn things about you, how you think and feel. If you had a dream about her, tell her <\/span>\u201cI had a dream about you.\u201d <\/b>Once again, the earlier in the relationship the better. The woman will be excited to know that every waking and non-waking thought you have is about her. Don\u2019t worry about coming off as obsessive or moving too quickly. Women want to know these things. It works every time, trust me.<\/span><\/li>\n
  7. My last tip to win your lady\u2019s love forever is, and I cannot stress this enough, when she texts you and says she is going to take a shower, you must say \u201cwithout me?\u201d <\/b>All women think this is incredibly funny and she will be rolling with laughter. She has most definitely never heard this and will applaud your originality.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Women are simple creatures, and if you follow these tips, I guarantee the woman of your dreams will be yours. If you meet a woman in a club, make sure to say something to her to let her know you are a feminist and she is safe with you. Telling her something like \u201cI listen […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":5540,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","iawp_total_views":10,"footnotes":""},"categories":[85],"tags":[1242,320,886],"wf_post_folders":[228],"class_list":{"0":"post-5539","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-satire","8":"tag-dating","9":"tag-marlee-silverman","10":"tag-satire"},"acf":[],"author_meta":{"display_name":"Marlee Silverman","author_link":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/index.php\/author\/marleesilverman\/"},"featured_img":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Photo-Credit_-Vija-Rindo-Pratama-via-Pexels-300x200.jpg","coauthors":[],"tax_additional":{"categories":{"linked":["Satire<\/a>"],"unlinked":["Satire<\/span>"]},"tags":{"linked":["dating<\/a>","Marlee Silverman<\/a>","satire<\/a>"],"unlinked":["dating<\/span>","Marlee Silverman<\/span>","satire<\/span>"]}},"comment_count":"0","relative_dates":{"created":"Posted 2 years ago","modified":"Updated 1 year ago"},"absolute_dates":{"created":"Posted on 21 February 2024","modified":"Updated on 23 May 2025"},"absolute_dates_time":{"created":"Posted on 21 February 2024 11:05","modified":"Updated on 23 May 2025 11:06"},"featured_img_caption":"Vija Rindo Pratama via Pexels","series_order":"","amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5539","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/44"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5539"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5539\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5542,"href":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5539\/revisions\/5542"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5540"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5539"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5539"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5539"},{"taxonomy":"wf_post_folders","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/wf_post_folders?post=5539"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}