{"id":4341,"date":"2024-12-05T00:01:08","date_gmt":"2024-12-05T00:01:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gaudie.co.uk\/press\/?p=4341"},"modified":"2025-05-23T11:41:28","modified_gmt":"2025-05-23T10:41:28","slug":"day-in-the-life-of-the-library-lift-mechanic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gaudie.co.uk\/wpress\/index.php\/satire\/2024\/12\/05\/day-in-the-life-of-the-library-lift-mechanic\/","title":{"rendered":"Day in the life of the library lift mechanic"},"content":{"rendered":"

I wake up at 11:30 a.m. and start my mornings by doing yoga. After that, I go for a run on the beach. I love the crisp fresh air, even on cold days. I do some journaling after that. After all, it’s important to keep the mind fresh.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

At 2:00 p.m., I check my emails for the day. I see that the Sir Duncan Rice Library lift is broken again. That sucks. Anyways, I get some lunch at Union Square, do some shopping, and stop to see a movie. I make sure to ride up and down the lifts at least four times, just to get a feel for the gravity situation. I go home and put my shopping away. Recently, I\u2019ve been having more free time so I get out my typewriter and work on my one-man play: <\/span>The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Lift<\/span><\/i>. I only need about another five days and I\u2019ll be finished with my first draft of the manuscript.<\/span><\/p>\n

After this, about 5:00 p.m., it’s time to start on the lift. I open Youtube and find \u201clift fixing for beginners.\u201d One might think that I should know the basics, and I do, but when has it ever been wrong to brush up on skills? What people don’t understand about being a lift mechanic is that:<\/span><\/p>\n

so much of the job entails thinking about lifts and riding in them rather than fixing them<\/span>.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

How could one truly understand the complexities and mystique of each individual lift if they don\u2019t take the time to get to know it on a personal level? Every lift offers a unique challenge that is completely different and unknowable. The SDR lifts are majestic beasts that should not be messed with by uncareful hands. The subtle curvature, the supple way the doors open and close, the graceful way she stops on each floor. It’s enough to bring a grown man to tears; not that there\u2019s anything wrong with that.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

By this time, it is about 6:00 p.m. I feel ready to take on the lift and find out what the problem is. I make my way over to campus and get to the offending lift. Once again, it’s that time of day where I randomly say things like: \u201cOh, yeah, I don\u2019t know, this seems pretty complicated, could take about five more days. I probably need to order some parts.\u201d I don\u2019t care if any of that is true. No one is here to correct me. <\/span><\/p>\n

The kid that was stuck got out with the help of the fire brigade, not my problem.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

There are two other working lifts; these spoiled kids need to learn to wait in line. Some of us have things to do, and their impatience is appalling.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

At 6:45 p.m., I head home. The day was long and full of unique challenges but I think I killed it. Listen, if I were to fix the lift completely I\u2019d be out of a job, I\u2019m not an idiot.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Author\u2019s Note:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I have included some rejected manuscript names:<\/span><\/p>\n