By Minaal Imran
Ladies and gentlemen, take this free quiz and uncover your true campus building spirit, with 99.996457% scientific accuracy!
- If you were a cake, what kind of a cake would you be?
A. Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting
B. Marble with swirls
C. FunFetti, with extra sprinkles
D. Red velvet topped with ruby-red crumbs
E. Opera with a glossy coffee glaze
2. What are you doing on the weekend?
A. Staying in, gardening and baking!
B. Making elaborate plans with friends, spamming 30+ texts on the group chat to confirm details, then not showing up.
C. Hitting 3 clubs, crashing at 4am.
D. Gym → brunch → town excursion → late night spiral
E. Revision! And if time allows, emailing lecturers questions I could’ve Googled!
3. What happens if you are locked overnight in a grocery store?
A. Find tea and biscuits, nap like a pensioner.
B. Move items back and forth till nothing is where it started. Reign chaos. Then cry.
C. FREE BOOZE, WOOHOOO!
D. Call for help, then pen a sonnet about supermarkets sustaining mankind.
E. Wander the aisles plotting how to frame ‘’Overnight Internship at Sainsbury’s’’ on my CV.
4. Your friend is going through a difficult time, how are you helping?
A. Unsolicited life advice all the way.
B. Ask them ‘are you okay’ 28 times, and then stress them out more.
C. Show up with vodka, it fixes everything.
D. Plan the perfect comforting day…then worry I’m doing it wrong.
E. Recommend a 600 page self help book on resilience, then make it about ME!
5. You’ve turned invisible for the day! What’s on your to-do list?
A. Go to a cafe, steal pastries, and rearrange sugar packets alphabetically
B. Unintentionally knock over shelves, accidentally scare everyone around with my existence.
C. Crash parties, and leave everyone wondering why the room is suddenly sticky.
D. Do heroic deeds anonymously, feel bad that I can’t help everyone.
E. Whisper a dramatic monologue praising my brilliance into the tutor’s office plant.
Quiz complete! The letter you scored the highest in reveals the campus building you truly are!
If you had As, you are..King’s College! Congratulations..you are old! How’s that hip doing, babe? You may not be 1495 old, but you’re getting there.
If you had Bs, you are..Meston Building! You little menace, misleading confused soul. Chaos follows everywhere you go, yet somehow people can’t help but be mildly entertained.
If you had Cs, you are..Students’ Union Building! Remember to register for those retakes! Yes, I know that wine got you through the worst heartbreak of your university career, but try not to make it a permanent study strategy. Your liver and grades will thank you later.
If you had Ds, you are..MacRobert Building! How many existential crises will it take for you to realise you are kinda cool? Moody, brilliant, and full of potential. Maybe don’t let it drain down the sink.
If you had Es, you are..Sir Duncan Rice Library! Being a teacher’s pet isn’t a personality trait, you pretentious freak. You probably have colour-coded spreadsheets for your life, and yes everyone notices.
If you had something in between, you are..William Guild Building! You are the Wi-Fi hotspot of personalities; everyone uses you but no one knows why. Stylish, versatile and kind of aesthetic, you exist in the perfect middle ground.
Disclaimer: If you disagree with your result, take it up with the architecture, not us.