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  • Writer's pictureThe Gaudie

Run Macron

It's the Gilet Jaunes

by Mark Kyle

Ah, the yellow vest, the uniform of the working man. Bear in mind that he’s French though, so by the working man, I mean he starts his work at 2pm, has a coffee break at half past which lasts until half 4, and clocks out at 5.

MAIS, it’s when he jumps into his little Citroën to drive home that chaos ensues. Because, now it costs Pierre just that little bit extra to fill up his litre tank. He doesn’t know how much extra, but he doesn’t care, he’s had enough. Pierre takes off his beret and puts on his yellow vest.

Although Macron is not completely out of touch, minutes after increasing the price of fuel, sales of Petrol soared 10000%. How else were the Jilet Jaunes going to set Paris on fire?

Who knew that civil unrest would cause a revolution in France? France? Of all places, surely, a country based on ‘egalité, fraternité, liberté’, would actually know a thing or two about, you know ‘egalité, fraternité, liberté’.

Oh well, I’m sure that half of Paris being on fire isn’t that bad; after all, it is the foggiest city in Europe– so the tourists won’t notice. And if it is occupied again, at least this time it’s by its own people for once.

According to sources close to Macron, they have called in a specialist clairvoyant to resurrect Napoleon, in order to restore some ‘national order’.

Vive la France, libre, dans l'honneur et dans l'indépendance


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