• The Gaudie

Havoc After Confusion Over 5-Year Plans

by A Fascist Sympathiser


The Young Socialist Society has come under fire after receiving a slew of complaints following a meeting with the University Career Centre.


In the hours following the meeting the campus bird population was decimated in what onlookers described as fanatical rage. When pressed for comment on these actions the society informed us that ‘This is for the good of the campus and the good of the people, people who don’t realise, that just don’t understand.’


This series of events was followed by an evacuation of Hill Head Student Village and the involvement of the Fire Service. Scottish Fire and Rescue have yet to release a statement on the reason for the evacuation but several students who lived on the site have been reporting their cast iron cookware disappearing, and the conduction of what appear to be crude smelting devices in the communal areas. 

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