• Gaudie Satire

Booming Maturing Industry on the Irish Sea Border

A driver is very pleased with the current ruling as they managed to pick up on crocheting their spouse left them to finish.


By Jakub Ivanecky


Image by DEZALB from Pixabay


As a result of the cataclysmic migraine that is Brexit, there has been an increase in problems in the transportation of goods, especially dairy produce.


As the talks with the EU regarding the NI continue, some of the British Goods and Services providers have warned of problems regarding certain products that involve eggs and dairy. This is because of the extended periods of waiting that exports now involve after the application of post-Brexit trading deals. Despite waiting for the trade deals for over 30 months, the European Union decided to grant the UK a lucrative fifth of said time on “its customs process”, said an anonymous EU-correspondent.


This has led to a number of goods being held up on the ports of Northern Ireland, where they are checked to meet EU regulation standards. Shrewd suppliers have therefore begun to curtail these waiting periods in their favour, as those involved in the dairy industry began to put maturing reagents just before their products were to be sent off instead of the traditional process of adding them much earlier. Mild cheddar has been with it great uptake in the Republic of Ireland, whilst countries like Poland, Sweden and Germany are the recipients of sharper varieties, pairing very well with their local bread variety. As the temperature eventually cool, they will be soon followed by British beef and pork suppliers taking advantage of the new waiting times, who are preparing an increase in demand for dried jerky, as well as prime cuts with the cooling temperatures. Another potential product with an uptake may be soy, but it has hit a rebuttal from the logistics, saying that there might not be enough space in the passenger’s cabin for fermentation.


An interesting experience is reported from the drivers, who display mixed feelings. They value the extended periods of free time, filled with additional activities but are not too pleased with the constant choking smell of maturing cheese on top of checking for explosives underneath their vehicles.

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