The gang catches up about current goings-on
By Maggie Johnson
Joe Penniston (Creative Commons)
MJ: Hi guys, thanks so much for being here! It’s been a while since you were all together, with Covid and all. How have you been spending the pandemic?
Kermit: Well hiya, thanks so much for having us! I’ve just been playing a lot of songs on my banjo, mostly songs about rainbows in fact.
Miss Piggy: Oh Kermie, you’re such a good banjo player.
MJ: What about everyone else? Has anyone found a good post-pandemic travel destination yet?
Beaker: Mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi, mi-mi, mi mi, mi-miiii!
MJ: I couldn’t agree more.
Swedish Chef: A-boom-da-shoopen, I have-a beenda visiting de U.S.A! Bork, bork, bork!
MJ: Oh wow, I guess travel has opened up there now!
Sam Eagle: That is absolutely correct. And there is in fact no better time than to visit the great U.S. of A.!
Fozzie Bear: Could you be quiet about the U.S. for one second? Anyway, I’ve been having a grand old time just getting back to hanging out with the gang. Isn’t that right guys?
Animal: AAAAAAAAH!!!!!
MJ: How is everyone feeling about recent political changes?
Miss Piggy: Ooh well, I’ve always thought that Kermie here would make a great Prime Minister! And then I could be the glamorous, beautiful, brilliant Prime Ministress!
Kermit: Ah shucks Piggy, that’s too nice. I’d do my best, but I think someone smarter, like Dr. Honeydew here would do splendidly.
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: I seem to have misplaced my glasses, but maybe if I could find them…
**Note: at this point in the interview there was a sudden loud bang, a flash of smoke, and Beaker briefly disappeared. This was not explained or acknowledged by any of the interviewees**
MJ: How has everyone been feeling about the economy? It’s been fairly confusing.
Gonzo: Well, I’ve actually been working on a performance art piece that tackles the economy, climate change, and gender –
Statler (suddenly): If that covered any more issues I’d have to climate CHANGE the channel!
Waldorf: If I was the economy I’d be a mess too, having to listen to you drone on about this performance!
Statler and Waldorf: OH HOHOHOHO!
MJ: Well, thank you everyone for their opinions. Any parting words?
Kermit: Thank you so much for having us!
Miss Piggy: Where should I submit my headshot for the article heading? And will you need candids?
Beaker: Mi mi mi, mi-mi-mi mi miii!!
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