• Gaudie Satire

Aberdeen City Council leaders win Nobel Peace Prize

In a highly anticipated move, Aberdeen City Council leaders win Peace Prize for ‘ending factionalism worldwide’





At an online award ceremony last night, Aberdeen City Council’s (ACC) co-leaders Lenny Jaing and Louglas Dumsden were jointly awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.


The highly coveted prize was awarded to the pair in recognition of their services to “ending bitter factional divides” and for “bringing people, everywhere, closer together”.

In their acceptance speech, Jaing thanked administration colleagues and took a moment to remind everyone “that we were just implementing the manifesto we were elected on” while Dumsden chose to thank his personal sponsors and comrades-in-arms, the well-known Draft Foundation for Covid-19 Prevention.


It is unclear who nominated the pair for the prize as the Nobel Committee’s rules state that nominees will remain anonymous.


However, the Committee’s rules state that “a nomination is considered valid if it is submitted by a person who falls within one of the following categories”. The categories include ‘Council Colleagues’, ‘suspended Party members’ and ‘anyone who voted against independence in 2014’, among others.

Speaking exclusively to the Gaudie, local statesman and ‘all round good egg’ Wallace Old, said: “This is an historic night for ACC and for my suspended friends. Hopefully, this means that we can now move forward in the comradely spirit that I’ve always promoted on social media.”


Asked what he thought of the treasonous naysayers bringing up Party suspensions and the like, Mr Old said: “How long have they been involved in politics? When they’ve been involved as long as I have, then we can talk about it again, otherwise I’ll have to go legal, as my sources across the pond in Sweden tend to say.”


It is not known what Jaing and Dumsden will do with their £716,224 award money, though sources have indicated the money might be spent on a new on setting up a new party in time for next year’s council elections with the remaining money spent on a “new, really nice wall.”

Earlier this year ACC was named UK ‘Local Authority of the Year’.

This year’s Nobel Prize ceremony was sponsored by the Marischal College Peace Foundation.



By: James Hill

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