I’d like to apologise to my fans
By Maggie Johnson
Photo Credit: Pixabay
I wish that I didn’t have to write this. I never thought that it would come to this point. I have started and restarted this a dozen times, but I can’t seem to get through it without tearing up.
I pride myself on vulnerability, and that can’t stop when I feel I’ve made a mistake. My audience deserves more than this. So I’m just gonna come right out and say it. I’m sorry.
I want to provide the facts of the situation, not to make up for my actions, but to shed some light on how I got to this point. There have been rumours swirling for the last few days, and I’d like to put those to rest. Some people are saying that I didn’t write an essay at all, some are saying that I took a phone call in the library’s silent area, and some people are saying that I did nothing wrong. And none of that is true. So here’s what happened:
I arrived at the library at 10:30 am. Anyone could see that I fully intended to get my essay work done. I was armed with a double-espresso, a full water bottle, and a charged phone. And I’ll tell you right now that I was going to. I never wanted to disappoint you like this.
However, I got lost along the way somehow. I don’t want to make excuses for my actions. But I somehow found myself at noon, yet to begin my essay, but with several draft Instagram posts done. I can’t speak to what came over me, I can only acknowledge that it was irresponsible. And that’s when I went to grab lunch, thinking that I could still get back on track after a break. And let me tell you, I planned to. I really did.
I wish that I had taken action right then and there, because I knew what I did was wrong. But I made the choice (the incorrect one as I know now) to keep not doing my essay. Which meant at 4:00 I had been at the library for over five hours with nothing to show for it. I thought it was the best choice to remove myself from the situation before doing further damage. So I left.
We go again next week. I wish that I had another essay due soon, so I could demonstrate the lesson that I have learned. However, I have to trust the process, and assume that I will have the chance to prove myself during my next assignment.
I can’t change my actions, I can only do better in the future. And I feel terrible to have disappointed my fans, my family, my lecturers, but most importantly, myself. I sincerely, truly apologise.
