• Life & Style

2020 And Feeling Good As Hell

Updated: Dec 8, 2020

by Jessica Downey


Image courtesy of personanongrata


If you didn’t cringe a little at one or two songs on your Spotify wrap up of 2019 then I take my hat off to you. Congratulations, I cannot say the same. Waking up on the first morning of 2020 to a repeated loop in my mind of the Lizzo lyrics ‘Baby how you feelin’? Feeling good as hell’ really did make me feel good as hell as I reflected on the year that shaped this response. You may read this and not know what I am talking about, but if you are partial to a night out then you will most likely have unknowingly experienced a group of friends ferociously singing along to this song after pestering the DJ all night for a request.

The singer-songwriter, rapper & flutist, Lizzo, can sometimes be categorised as therapy for a demographic of those angry at relationships that did them wrong. Which don’t get me wrong is ace, as you can only listen to your heartbroken friend play Beyonceso many times in one month. However, in breaking down the song, I want to uncover how the song offers a multitude of lessons and encouragement for all hiccups 365 days in a year can throw at us.

Woo girl (or boy), need to kick off your shoes

Got to take a deep breath, time to focus on you

A quarter into 2019 and I was tragically aware of feeling like a lost vessel, afraid I couldn’t actually tell myself what brings me fulfilment, what inspired me? I was bored of the uni trance I had fallen into for the past few years, where my general notion was that if I was having fun and everyone around me was too then I could bury the thought of the future away and it would never catch up with me because I was happy right?

Queue Lizzo. Boy did I need to ‘take a deep breath’ and begin a journey for ME. Admittedly, initially I fuelled this into overly-indulgent self-love, in the destructive form of spending money on over-priced martinis and clothes I’ll never wear. Fast forward a little and I began to understand what it meant to focus on myself. In order for self-growth to occur I had to understand that trying to please others and putting their happiness before yours is 1) exhausting and 2) not sustainable for your own happiness. Note the latter point for 2020 tuition.

Boss up and change your life

You can have it all, no sacrifice

A hard pill to swallow but one that will flood your being with the euphoria you never knew you needed, is that becoming your finest self is down to no one else but yourself. We need human interaction to make us feel, but that person you are thinking of right now isn’t perfect either.

The self-satisfaction I ended 2019 on didn’t arrive on a silver plate. In order for me to metaphorically and physically ‘go places’ I had to stop depending on others to encourage this and experience the joy that self-reliance longed to shower me in.

Bigger moments of the year such as a solo trip to Vietnam, changing jobs, and working towards my post-uni future, came about through the self-assurance only I could provide for myself. I could ‘have it all’ once I bossed up and recognised my own power. Whether that required me politely declining spending time with people who didn’t nurture my growth or throwing myself off a three-story high boat into the Pacific ocean. I had to initiate actions that would make me feel ‘good as hell’ in the long run.

So walk your fine ass out the door

To round up on this lyrical journey, you are in the dawn of 2020; ditch what hindered your growth in 2019. What is stopping your fine ass from walking towards your own success this year? For me, I am choosing this year to share my new-found love with as many humans as possible and also direct a lot more love into our increasingly fragile earth. So if you have any unwanted baggage from last year, I encourage you to graciously dispose of this (in an eco-friendly manner if applies) in 2019 and walk into 2020 FEELING GOOD AS HELL.

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©2019 by The Gaudie.